133758

Joke of the Day

"I've started wearing a stethoscope around my neck... So, if there's a medical emergency I get to teach people a valuable lesson about making assumptions based on someone's appearance."

Next Joke
 
"How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just shoot the room for being black."
"This one is a bit tasteless, so be warned. Water"
"Alcohol was created as a social lubricant, to make men brave and women loose."
"A law student walks into a bar... He says, ""Shit I should've prepared for this."""
"I hired a pizza chef as my new golf coach. One way or another the dude is gonna fix my slice."
"When I was a kid my Fairy-Godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I can't remember what did I chose!"
"BEYONCE: do u like my album JAY: [thinking to self] if anyone hears this i'll be ruined JAY: [out loud] we should make it a tidal exclusive"
"Thank you all for the Happy Birthday wishes!!! Had a GREAT DAY!!! (didn't read a single one)"
"""It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!"" - someone who's never killed a bear with a sword"