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Joke of the Day
"How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a Mexican's job."
Next Joke
"*leaves one gummy bear in the packet* i'm letting you live so you can go back to your king and tell him to send the rest of his troops"
"I'm at my most vulnerable when I'm trying to spell Chrysanthemum"
"I do understand that you guys think these jokes are funny, but this post says otherwise. **Otherwise**"
"my default response when someone questions a risky text of mine is ""sorry, I was drunk."" But now everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic so..shit."
"Astronaut Booty Call... I'd like to see what's under your Kuiper Belt."
"The number of Pina coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn't want to cruise with me again) many."
"So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by... The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him."
"What kind of computer can't sing? A Dell"
"Old Lady at the bank I work at a bank, and one time an old lady asked if I could check her balance. So I pushed her over."