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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about 12yr old girl in the shower Slick her hair back and she looks like an 11yr old boy"

"I told my friend I made $600 a month selling dog shit He said: ""That's gross!"" I said: ""No, that's net."""

"Apparently when I'm at Olive Garden I'm family. So why did they call the cops when I left without paying? My family never makes me pay."

"What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer."

"Did you hear about the vertically challenged psychic that robbed a bank? Police say they're looking for a small medium at large."

"The French government has issued a statement regarding the recent string of terrorist attacks. Oui surrender"

"The Republicans have been in control of the house for 2 hours and unemployment is still 10%. Is it too late to change?"

"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."

"Saint Peter: Name M: David SP: You're in M: Even after that night in Nogales?! SP *winks* *takes a step* *trap door opens* SP: Sucka!"

"I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That's how I learned the security guards have Tasers"