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Joke of the Day

"I was roasting meat and accidentally stabbed myself with a meat thermometer and blood is gushing out. I'm done."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything."

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first."

"They say treat others how you would like to be treated. Now I have to go out on a date with a guy and treat him like a princess."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade."

"how to be a good DJ? press ""PLAY"" and don't touch anything ever again"

"Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it."

"The Bible would be more believable if Adam was tempted by a slice of pizza instead."

"What kind of bees give milk? Boobies."

"Wanna get together and test the spring potential of my mattress?"