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Joke of the Day

"You were a great man, Christopher Columbus ... ... to think you had the foresight of giving me work off 5 centuries later."

"Sometimes I need what only some people can provide: Their absence."

"Oh that's neat so you're a Cancer? Wait...astrologically or to society?"

"A clock asked another clock out... He was timezoned"

"[snake charmer struggling to get snake to stand up] I swear this never happens"

"My wife says that all she wants is an attentive lover...... ...or maybe it was a tent of lovers. I don't really know, I wasn't paying attention."

"So a cannibal walks into a hospital delivery room And the doctor says, ""can I help you??"" The cannibal says, ""I'll have what she's having."""

"What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league? Rink injustice!"

"Movie theaters do not explicitly prohibit saxophones during showtime so feel free to play your saxophones during showtime"

"Why did my sperm cross the road? Because my wife wore the wrong socks."