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Joke of the Day

"What would be different if men got pregnant? Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem."

"I have no problem getting women into the sack... ... it's getting the sack into the back of my van that's the problem."

"What do grapefruit and women have in common? The best ones squirt when you eat them."

"What flies through the jungle singing opera ? The parrots of Penzance !"

"How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None the keyboardist can do it with his left hand."

"It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented."

"Why did Chris Brown stop having long-term relationships? He wanted 2 hit singles"

"Never stop seeking knowledge. It is how we grow as a society. But if you do, go ahead and run for office."

"Statistics say that the typical man has sex 92 times a year... I feel that December will be amazing"

"I never knew what nationality Santa was until now. I just found out that he is actually North Polish."