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Joke of the Day

"How do you find a blind man at a nudist beach? It's not hard"

"All these years and the ""insert thumb and lift"" tab on macaroni and cheese boxes is still lying to us."

"I'm holding a party for people who can never reach orgasm If you can't come let me know."

"Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her."

"Superman: "" I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive"" Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown"

"I'm glad the pet stores close before the bar does. I could see drunken pet adoption being a real problem for me."

"I'll do unspeakable things to you, baby, like vqtkjx and zqkpmr."

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."

"I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me ""sweetie"" too."

"I photobombed my pal's passport photo & now they won't let him through customs unless I'm behind him waving my hands in the air like a putz."