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Joke of the Day

"She said, ""Are you even listening to me? This is important!"" I said, ""I don't know, pizza?"" And that's how the fight started"

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"Good Girls Vs Bad Girls Difference Between Good Girls And Bad Girls Good Girls Open Few Buttons In Hot Atmosphere, But Bad Girls Open All Buttons To Make The Atmosphere Hot."
"What's Asian on top and black on bottom? IQ distribution graph"
"What do you call a monkey terrorist? A Baboom!"
"Why was the ghost late to the halloween party? He had to take a sheet."
"I bought myself a snail to race other snails.. I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish"
"Most offensive joke I've ever heard So I was going down on this old lady when I tasted horse semen. So I stopped and said ""Oh grandma, that's how you died"""
"Sometimes when I say ""I'm ok"", I just want someone to tell me: ""I know you're not, here, have a million dollars."""
"You need some more fuel for that fire? Cause I got some wood for you right here."
"KIDNAPPER: Get in the van ME: Oh no thanks I'm vegetarian KIDNAPPER: Oh okay sorry *drives away* {15min later} KIDNAPPER: Wait a minute, wtf"