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Joke of the Day
"Isn't it weird that Greenland is icy and Iceland is where my wife moved when she left me"
Next Joke
"If you're a guy who owns pantyhose, you're either a thief or sexually questionable. Either way, I don't trust you behind my back."
"My favorite alcoholic drink is probably sleep."
"What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use? A salt rifle."
"What was the name of the gay World War II themed porn film starring Charlie Chaplin as Adolf Hitler? The Great Dick Taker"
"I once hung out with Lebron James and Nicolas Cage... ... and they spent the whole day trying to outflop each other. :)"
"[stranded on Mars journal] day 1: rob and I have enough oatmeal to last us 300 days day 2: I ate rob"
"You know how I just broke this huge cookie in half and put the other half away like I wasn't going to eat it? That was funny."
"I baby-proofed my apartment but they keep getting in."
"Hi, my name is Chadical--I mean--Chad, and I'm a recovering bro. [group says ""Hi, Chad"" but one voice goes ""Sup bro""]"