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Joke of the Day

"The girl at the Baskins-Robbins thinks Leonardo da Vinci was ""in that Titanic movie"". Now my ice cream tastes like stupid."

"I once spoke to an extractor fan. He said to me, ""I used to like farming vehicles, but now I'm not so fond of them."""

"[At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay."

"WIFE: omg Will Smith's son, Jaden, is dead ME: where'd you see that? W: Facebook M: I'm pretty sure that's a hoax W: no Facebook is real"

"Who always wins the insect election? The lesser of two weevils."

"I just got slapped by a girl for asking her, ""Do you spit or swallow?"" I thought this was a very reasonable question to ask her, considering we were at a wine tasting session."

"Why don't mexicans have checking accounts? It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line."

"Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women"

"How does Ohm conduct an orchestra? Standing on his head!"

"An slow witted poultry farmer says to his friend, ""If can guess how many chickens I have in this bag... ...I'll give them both to you!""."