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Joke of the Day

"Writing a book titled ""Understanding women"". The first page will have a real knife & the rest will show you different ways to kill yourself."

"only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds"

"I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake."

"Saw a new machine at the gym, but could only use it for 20mins before it made me sick It was great... it had M&M's, Skittles, you name it!"

"Why do aspirins work? Because they're white."

"There are only two types of people I hate in this world... Racists and black people."

"How long does the perfect job interview last? Exactly as long as a blowjob takes."

"SPOILER ALERT: In the book ""What to Expect When You're Expecting,"" it's a baby. You're expecting a baby."

"What did the blind, innocent, sweet, paraplegic 7 year old boy get for his birthday? Cancer."

"Report: Scientist walks in on climate changing, awkwardness ensues"