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Joke of the Day

"[At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay."

"I think it'd be cool to be immortal for a day, just to see what it's like."

"Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask ""Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"""

"Why did the girl give Jesus a blowjob? She wanted to see the messiah cum"

"What is iron man without his suit? Stark naked."

"Whenever I Think Of Books I touch my shelf."

"A man walks into a bar... ...and loses the international limbo championship. (I feel like this is probably really old, but I hadn't heard it before.)"

"Everybody has their own circle of friends. Yet the police still want to refer to mine as a ring'."

"It would be totally gay if Elon Musk opened a gas company in the future. Not because it will be out of trend but because it will be named GasX."

"Favorite joke as a kid. How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis."