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Joke of the Day

"What cheese is used to block online streaming? Edam"

"Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison? Because he catches all the snitches!"

"How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?"

"What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun? As far away as possible. *cough* shameful *cough*"

"CNN: President Obama Saves The Life Of A Choking Child. FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working EMS Workers."

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew....... boy scouts return from camp"

"My wife and I adopted an abandoned newborn. She was affected by shaken baby syndrome... ...We're naming her Jostlelyne! I made that one up myself."

"How do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin-divers"

"Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts? He dislikes ~~poles~~ polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words? It hard :("