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Joke of the Day

"When I was a little girl dreaming about what life in my thirties might be like, I envisioned way more powerful enemies."

"Everything becomes 100 times louder when you're trying not to wake someone up."

"Hey there.. Hi.."

"Look at your disgusting balls. That's LITERALLY exactly what Jesus wants them to look like. #Bible"

"Donations Son: ""Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."" Father: ""Okay, give him a glass of water."""

"If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny shit."

"""Surely I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."" I wonder why rich men didn't just chop up the camel first..."

"Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge? He couldn't keep his hands off his privates"

"wow american really nailed the demographic of the 6am business traveler with the in flight movie selection of madagascar 3"

"If a white person eats a dessert and no one is around to Instagram it, did it even happen?"