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Joke of the Day

"The girl on the stripper pole got mad because I gave her a monopoly dollar, well fake boobs, fake hair, fake nails gets fake dollars!"

"Why are black fathers always missing? Because white cops always shoot them for no reason."

"HOW TO SURVIVE IN THE WILDERNESS: Call someone and have them come pick you up."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters."

"5's friend told him his mom makes play doh. Thanks Pinterest. I'm already expected to cook 3 meals a day, now I have to cook their toys too?"

"Traffic lights are so shy the closer I get to them, the more likely they are to go red"

"Man walks into a tavern. Man walks into a tavern and passed the bar. Bartender turns to him and says, ""You can't be back here."" Man says, ""It's OK. I'm a lawyer now."""

"If a turkey got murdered, the chalk outline would look like a giant preschooler's hand."

"What are the famous last words of a redneck? ""Hey ya'll, watch this!"""