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Joke of the Day

"HOW TO SURVIVE IN THE WILDERNESS: Call someone and have them come pick you up."

"I was arrested for killing a black man I thought I would be charged with murder, but instead I was charged with impersonating a police officer."

"Saw an ad that said ""Radio for sell, volume stuck on full. 1$"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down""."

"Is athlete's foot [gulp] fatal, doc? ""Not with the proper treatment."" *gives foot $56M 7-year contract*"

"What does the old Nazi call his favorite reclining chair? Mein Kampfy chair."

"The Hispanic fruit cup locks eyes with the beautiful lady across the bar... He makes his move, walks over and says ""why, Jello there"""

"Father: You were absent on the day of the test? Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!"

"Florist: ""Would you like your flowers wrapped?"" Me: ""Nope, they're going right into the shredder before I give them to my sister-in-law."""

"Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah who? Allahu Ackbar! /r/unexpectedjihad"

"What do you call a gay Mexican couple that just won the lottery? Juan in Emiliano"