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Joke of the Day
"Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to the retards house. **knock knock"
Next Joke
"According to Facebook, 78% of girls I went to high school with now own their own photography business."
"What piece of furniture can you always trust? A Reputable."
"Recipes sound good until you realize that you don't have $846 worth of spices in your house."
"What do you call the boss hit by a shrink ray? Micromanagement!"
"My daughter is such a happy little person she giggles in her sleep, which makes me worry that somehow she's not my biological offspring"
"My 3 moods: 1. I'm too tired for this shit 2. I'm too old for this shit 3. I'm too sober for this shit"
"Finding a good date is like looking for a parking spot... all the good ones are taking and the rest are handicapped."
"The prophet Muhammad, Hitler and Charles Manson walk into a gay bar The bartender runs for his life screaming ""NO! FUCK THIS JOKE!"""
"I got arrested today for masturbating in public My lawyer then told me that we'd beat this together."