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Joke of the Day

"My daughter is such a happy little person she giggles in her sleep, which makes me worry that somehow she's not my biological offspring"

"What do you call a haunted accordion Polka haunt us"

"1st Witch: What's your new boyfriend like ? 2nd Witch: He's mean nasty ugly smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too !"

"Famous Russian snooker player Inov the red"

"Reddit has gone so dark that it just got shot in the back by a cop"

"Why did Bill Cosby make his own Jell-O? Because his girlfriend was in a Roofie induced coma."

"what gets wet when it dries?? a towel"

"What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger? The bogeyman."

"My fish makes so much noise during the night that I wake up six times a night to ask him if we are fighting"

"I'm so lazy, if I got kidnapped I'd just think, ""Well, this is where I live now."""