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Joke of the Day

"My 3 moods: 1. I'm too tired for this shit 2. I'm too old for this shit 3. I'm too sober for this shit"

"What's the Best thing about Duct Tape? It turns Noooo! Noooo! Noooo!......to..... Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm."

"Q: Why did the Wisconsin democrat cry? A: He couldn't recall."

"I say 'tomato', you say 'put your hands where I can see them and exit the vehicle slowly' ."

"how do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?? pick it up and suck its dick"

"So I had this really great racist joke. But some black guy stole it."

"What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea? A start."

"Did you hear about the pizza cook who died in the pizza oven explosion? They had to peel him off the ceiling."

"Me: Pfft.. There is scientific evidence that a woman's brain is lighter than a man's. Her: Perhaps because it gets more exercise."

"Chinese woman pray before releasing fishes in Paris river la Seine when https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G77aVXoxTk"