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Joke of the Day
"If life gives you melons. . . You probably have dyslexia."
Next Joke
"Want to know how to make your PC faster? Paint it black."
"[mysterious British man rescues me] Me: How? Him: Bond [introducing himself as we leave prison], bail bond."
"Jimmy Kimmel, Justin Beiber and The Burger King walk into a boxing mach..."
"Putting a woman on a $10 makes sense . . . . . . no one really wants a 1 or a 5. (As heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)"
"An economist was given the choice between participating in a marathon and just a quick race. He preferred the long run over the short run."
"""When it rains, it pours."" -Shitty weatherman"
"Me + Bed + Pillow = Best threesome ever."
"My favorite jokes are ones about Pavlov. I always laugh at them without even thinking about it!"
"How do Mexicans greet Dr. Seuss? Jesus!"