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Joke of the Day

"I'm surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y'all."

"Saw a sign that said ""piso mojado"" and all I could think about was . . how that piso just came here to do the work Americans pisos don't want to do."

"Brought a ninja to a gunfight and it was really cool. Everyone clapped. Then they shot him."

"What's the difference between a bonus and a penis? A wife will blow a bonus."

"My imagination ran away with me, but we're both out of shape and didn't get very far."

"I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting. I turned off the WiFi router and simply waited in the room where it's located."

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying. Retweaked joke: How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass? Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!"

"The only reason I get up in the morning is so I can drink at night."

"And the Best McDonald's Employee of the Month goes to Mad Max: Fury Road."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney."