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Joke of the Day

"How does Sean Connery shave? CTRL + S"

"""A cantaloupe is an antelope that doesn't."""

"What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor? A pedal physician in the fetal position."

"Boy to Friend: I'm sorry I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework."

"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black"

"I'm not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes."

"I went to a party dressed as a loaf of bread. The birds were all over me."

"When I RT what I'm actually saying is ""Fuck I wish I wrote that"""

"What do a bunch of celebrity nudes have in common with a stiff breeze? They both can cause reddit's servers to crash."

"How high are you? No officer, it's hi, how are you."