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Joke of the Day

"How high are you? No officer, it's hi, how are you."

"Watching a birth is beautiful. Not knowing any of the parties in the delivery room & singing Salt-N-Pepa's ""Push It"" will get you arrested."

"Dance like nobody's watching. Do the dishes like nobody's watching. Change into that robe like nobody's watching. No, the other one."

"[1st date] WAITER: and how would you like your steak, miss? HER: definitely not wooden *winks across table* DRACULA: *just glares at her*"

"My friend told me that each person creates 10 tons of CO2 a year, and said I should be taking steps to bring that number down so I shot a guy."

"the bottom half of my legs are really interesting they're knee-toe"

"My grandpa may be having trouble with his memory, but he still has a great sense of humor. He just told me this one: Why was the broom late for work? Because 7,8,9"

"My mate Dave has changed a lot since his time in prison For a start he's not half as tight as he used to be."

"Grammar Nazis really make me fuhrious. I'm sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone. Anne Frankly, it was just bad."

"Having sex is like playing a game of bridge If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."