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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes."

"The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real."

"What's a hippies favourite food? Peas, man."

"Don't buy a belt at the zoo, it's just a snake trying to escape."

"Breakfast Bacon, Eggs, and Toast walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."""

"I treat my women like I treat my cereal Spoon first to get it wet, then eat it. P.S. I love fat chicks."

"Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol, one sec bro"

"What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? You can't get kids to eat broccoli."

"I just bought a new boomerang How do I get rid of the old one ?"

"I for one is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard"