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Joke of the Day

"What did the other vegetables in the garden say when a rumor was going around that two vegetables might start dating? ""I heard it through the grapevine."""

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"Why do people think Saint Stephen was a marijuana addict? He was stoned to death."
"Guy discovers Terrorist Hideout.. Reporter: So how did you catch 'em? Guy: Umm.. I just found this Charizard then..."
"What do you call Bob the builder after he retires? Bob"
"The best part about twitter is that it is completely satisfying on a deep emotional level and in no way makes me feel empty inside."
"This weather girl is giving the weather report and her titties are blocking the state of Texas. #LoneStartitties"
"Steve Irwin died the same way he lived.. ..with animals in his heart."
"Communicating with Cattle by I. Ken Mooue"
"NEVER date someone that works for your cell phone provider. You're welcome."
"I assume every Chinese tattoo I see stands for ""This was a mistake."""