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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot. What did you think, you racist mother fucker?"

"I'm so out of shape, I can't even run away from my insecurities."

"What's a rock group with four guys that don't sing? Mount Rushmore"

"9/11 may have been an inside job.... But 7/11 was a part time one"

"How does a chicken do their hair? With a comb, In one fowl swoop."

"Anybody know where I can get a Game of Thrones Valentine's day card? It's for my sister."

"What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......"

"How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea? None according to the Russians."

"the only exercise this month ive done is running out of money"

"NSFW A guy steps into an elevator with a young woman... He says, ""can I smell your feet?"" ""No!"" She replies. ""It must be your pussy."""