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Joke of the Day

"What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......"

"What's the difference between a bug and an insect? Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot."

"American Top Gear"

"What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl? It's PAN-demonium!"

"If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package."

"*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds ""extremely organized"" to resume."

"What do you call a dog from another planet? A dal-martian"

"Just overheard the phrase, ""pregnant with a baby,"" and secretly wondered what the other options were."

"When life gives you melons... ...you probably have dyslexia."

"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls are."