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Joke of the Day

"I'm so anti-social, my misery loathes company."

"The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened. "

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. She thinks to herself, 'Some asshole's got my pen.'"

"Last night, I forgot about the Sun Then it dawned on me..."

"Alcohol and calculus don't go together very well. Don't drink and derive."

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park your car, man."

"Super Intelligent Student Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! and I'm going home now."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Everyone thinks it's 'R', but his first love be the 'C'."

"how do you kill two priests toss a small boy between them and watch them fight to the death. The winner has to fight Michael Jackson"

"Someone asked me when the narwhal bacons... ...my response was: ""huh?"""