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Joke of the Day

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 3. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: if ya pin 'er, yer in 'er."

"A priest, a homosexual, and a paedophile walk into a bar...... And then a second guy walks in"

"A cemetery foreman discovers that his employees cremated a body he explicitly told them to bury. ""You've made a grave mistake!"" He fumes."

"The difference between oral and anal thermometers? The taste."

"""Full bath?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Double beds?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Pool?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Maid service?"" ""Yes sir"" ""WIFI?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Kids, I found a campsite!"""

"A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort; it is equal to one night. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers."

"911 I JUST SAW TWO TRANSFORMERS FIGHTING ""Mr Bay, please stop doing this every time you see a car crash"""

"What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby? One is still dicking bimbos while the other was dicking still bimbos."

"I give this cheese an ""A"" I grated it myself"

"I remember the last thing my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. I wonder how far I can kick this bucket?"