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Joke of the Day

"911 I JUST SAW TWO TRANSFORMERS FIGHTING ""Mr Bay, please stop doing this every time you see a car crash"""

"How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher? Calculator!"

"They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by love and her looks are out of sight !"

"It's leaked that Caitlyn Jenner is winning the ""woman of the year"" award. Oh so now they're implying that men are better at being women than women are."

"If I hear someone crying I immediately cry louder to establish myself as the dominant sad person in the room"

"Mo' money mo' problems might be true, but I'd still like to find out for myself."

"What does a tight-rope walker eat for breakfast? A Balanced Diet!"

"What's an Irish seven-course meal? A six-pack and a potato"

"Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target."

"Math is sad. It takes hours to try to prove your point, but only one counterexample to destroy everything. Much like my marriage."