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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the french TV show Did you hear about the french TV chat show that only airs on a thursday? Richard and Jeudi"

"In case of a zombie apocalypse, I'm surrounding my house with treadmills."

"I wanted to watch the inauguration today But Eisenhower late."

"Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again. Person 2: Yes but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it."

"A marching band passed by this morning, shouting ""Make America Great Again!"" Must be some Donald Trumpeters."

"My friend called and said, "" on your drive over later please don't forget to bring all the ingredients for the Guacamole "". I said sure, there's only one problem..........I don't avocado."

"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"

"""Man this milk is SO strong. It's got like, 30% lactose or some shit. Whatever that means."" -baby parties"

"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender."

"What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song? Jungle bells."