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Joke of the Day

"My little cousin dropped this one on me: Me: Wow, you must've grown a foot since the last time I saw you! Cosin: Nope, still have two!"

"Im not saying I'm number one, uh sorry I lied I'm number one two three four and five."

"I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy."

"What do David Carradine and the Mets have in common? They both choke when it really matters."

"I'm dyslexic, atheist and an insomniac... I stay up all night wondering if there *really* is a Dog."

"I was at the inventor of the USB stick's funeral yesterday..... They lowered his coffin into the ground, then raised it back up, turned it around, and lowered it back down again."

"I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor. Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint. (Sorry)"

"You don't hear about Rowan Atkinson much these days. It's probably because he's a has-*bean*."

"While getting the newspaper, I thought the neighbor admired my new boxers a bit too much. 'Til I felt a breeze. And remembered a button."

"Who's the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy."