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Joke of the Day
"I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy."
Next Joke
"Man: ILYWoman: Awww write the words in full they mean more when theyre written properlyMan: Im leaving you"
"I am really feeling like a bicycle today. Too tired!"
"If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said ""sorry to Bale on you"" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest."
"Whats the difference between a lawyer and a teenage boy? One is a master debater. The other is a masterbater."
"Marriage counsellor: What's the problem? Wife: He is so literal. It drives me mad. MC: And how do you feel, Stephen? Me: With my hands."
"The entire 15 years my wife and I have been married we only had one fight and it's still not over."
"How do you know when you're too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener"
"Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you're Iron Man. What could it hurt?"
"A man gets shot in the foot. As he's driving to the hospital, he gets pulled over for speeding. The cop says to him, ""Someone's got a serious case of leadfoot."""