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Joke of the Day

"Canadian Joke: How was Terry Fox like Hitler? He couldn't finish a race either."

"I would help you carry some of those bushes... but I've already got two palms on my hands."

"My friend told me that I didn't know the meaning of the word ""ironic""... ...which was ironic, because we were at the train station."

"I Dropped Out of Elementary School Because of Recess.. I don't play games."

"I fell sick today when I wore crocs... I am Lacoste intolerant."

"On Jeopardy This is the largest mammal in the animal kingdom. *leans into mic* ""Who is, your mother?"""

"Since the pharmacy keeps making it harder to buy decongestants, I've just started making them at home from crystal meth."

"Do hesitant people order sparagus?"

"They say religion is the opiate of the masses Makes sense, because when I go to church I nod off... (This is actually a joke I made up. Thought I'd share)"

"Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath? He died from a massive underdose."