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Joke of the Day

"""I'd pap that."" - Gynecolgist"

"If optimus prime was a pokemon, what would his most used attacks be? Transform and rollout. (When you tell this to people wait and see if they guess it)"

"I pointed to two old farts sitting across the bar and told my friend ""That's us in 10 years"". He said ""Dude, that's a mirror"""

"My favorite pirate joke (no arrr) Say it out loud. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? I'm 80!"

"What's another word for ""thesaurus""? Steven Wright joke, iirc."

"Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear."

"An Englisman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says ""What is this, some kind of a joke?"

"DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me."

"Birth Control It's like direct deposit without the interest"

"Black people are way more susceptible to diabetes. That's not racist, it's a medical fact. Now if I said ""hide your wallets, there's diabetes patients around here,"" that would be racist."