138219

Joke of the Day

"DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me."

"What is the most popular birthday based on Internet records? January 1st, 1993"

"How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!"

"Oh, elderly neighbor: You defeated Hitler, yet you somehow can't figure out the car alarm?"

"JOSEPH: who did you name me after? ME: you were named after my grandfather GREGGNOG: what about me dad?"

"Did you all see the shots fired at the Democratic debate just now!!???? Hillary really took aim at Bernie over gun control."

"Girl, you put the sexy in dyslexia."

"What's the difference between humans and bullets? Humans miss Harambe"

"[traffic jam] MAN: [rolls down window] Dude, why? ME: [in the next car holding a rabbit as it repeatedly kicks the horn] It's his birthday"

"Would I miss my leg or my arm more? (me, lying in bed, deciding which to put outside the blanket for the monster under the bed to rip off)"