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Joke of the Day

"I pointed to two old farts sitting across the bar and told my friend ""That's us in 10 years"". He said ""Dude, that's a mirror"""

"Two cannibals are eating a comedian ""Does this guy taste a little funny to you?"""

"The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week. There was no coffin at the funeral"

"The space race shows that there's no limit to what human ingenuity can achieve When they really want to prove they're better than some other bastard."

"I knew I'do have to close the podiatry clinic I had opened in Paris. I smelled defeat."

"What country uses the most foul language? Turkey"

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable."

"If you want to know how Irish my family is, my parents don't have a liquor cabinet, they have a liquor closet Right next to the beer fridge"

"Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave? Deputin"

"Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women"