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Joke of the Day
"I bet rapists can get their straw in a Capri Sun on the first try."
Next Joke
"Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."
"What's the roughest part about being a 7-year-old in Liberia? The mid-life crisis."
"When life gives you chlamydia, make lemon chlamydia?"
"Maybe I'm the good kind of fat like an avocado."
"Do not vaccinate your children! Let a trained medical professional do it instead."
"Trump for president! There will be hell toupee"
"What do you call an eye doctor living on an island in Alaska? An optical Aleutian."
"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, you take 5 shots."
"I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore"