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Joke of the Day

"When life gives you chlamydia, make lemon chlamydia?"

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"If accounts on every social media site have taught me anything it's that I'm so glad my family doesn't know my username."
"What is Carrie Fisher's favorite snack? Frito Leah's"
"I think people are getting sick of my jokes when they exhale deeply I should take it as a sigh-n"
"I found a worm on me. And now it's crawling in my skin."
"Wait, you're citing me for reckless driving? I can count three from here!"
"Who really appreciates a good fisting? A sock puppy."
"My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework... ... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive."
"Democracy in North Korea is like the dislike button on facebook. Everybody wants it but they shall never get it."
"How is the world like a bag of jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."