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Joke of the Day

"Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."

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"What did the egg say to a pot of boiling water? ""I'm not ready to get hard yet, I just got laid!"""
"Two cannibals are eating a math teacher. Another approaches, and asks.. ""Hey, can I have sum?"""
"Sometimes a person is completely out of the picture but you just can't let go of the frame."
"[airport security pulls Robocop aside] -Got ID? I AM A POLICE OFFIC- -Murphy eh. Looks nothin like u. THAT WAS BEFORE I GOT SH- -Save it pal"
"I can't wait for MTV's next reality show about car wash employees that hold in farts until they're cleaning the inside of your car."
"when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit"
"I went to the doctors this morning as I had a strawberry growing from my ear. He gave me some cream for it."
"How did the Jewish man take advantage of the wasted girl at the bar? He had her pay his tab!"
"What do the Welsh call safe sex? Spray painting the sheep that bite."
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