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Joke of the Day

"[Dog Court] Judge: How do you find the defendant? Jury: We find the defendant, not a good boy. *dogs family in courtroom begins to cry*"

"Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics."

"What is the difference between pile of dead babies and pile of sand? I don't eat sand."

"What's a homophobic congressman's favorite place to swim? In da Nile"

"What do we want? *A cure for Tourette's!* When do we want it? *FUCK!*"

"My dad walked in on me masturbating... he said, ""quit doing that, you'll go blind""! I said, ""dad, I'm over here""!"

"What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom? Nothing, the pee is silent"

"Why did Hitler blows his brains out?... Because he saw his gas bill. Also this joke isn't funny, one of my family members died in a concentration camp. He went to take a piss and fell out of a tower."

"What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks? A conductor."

"A breakfast crime Did you here about the egg who *cracked* the case?. He was super *yolked* so it was *over-easy*."