14377

Joke of the Day

"What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom? Nothing, the pee is silent"

"I spilled a whole case of forks today..... ...you could say I forked up real bad"

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Of course you did. I saw him the other day at the mall making balloon animals. He says hi."

"""Awww. There there."" *pats you on the face. Hard"

"They told me to imagine a guy holding a jug full of water. But I just couldn't pitcher it."

"What's the best song to send to your father on Father's Day? *I'm Glad You Came*"

"Friend: Who's that? Me: Oh...that's crazy Kathy. F: Why do you call her that? Is she funny or something? Me: No. She eats hair."

"Funny Jokes, I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"How to pick up a girl Me: Are you interested in having the best sex of your life? Her: No. Me: Well then you came to the right place ;)"

"What do both Hitler and Trump say to people they hate? YOU'RE FIRED!"