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Joke of the Day

"Girl, are you a glass of water because I think you're about to throw yourself at me."

"We now finally have proof that Osama Bin Laden is dead He just registered to vote in Chicago"

"Him: So what are you into? Me: *thinking of the newspaper cutouts of Justin Trudeau all over my bedroom walls and ceiling* Politics."

"At the IRS audit IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for free. Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that? IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits."

"This apple tastes terrible. It must be the way I'm holding it."

"The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!"

"The Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, has passed away... ...the band is now known as ""The Beatless""."

"What does Fozzie the Bear do when he can't find a ride? Walk-a Walk-a"

"Sean Spicer getting very upset with the media for not reporting that Trump put up a 28/13/11 triple double against the Rockets yesterday."

"Whenever one door closes, another opens. ..perhaps the one who built the house didn't do a good job."