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Joke of the Day

"Sean Spicer getting very upset with the media for not reporting that Trump put up a 28/13/11 triple double against the Rockets yesterday."

"My wife accused me of being immature... I told her to get out of my fort."

"When does it become a dad joke? When it was a kid."

"Wife: Well, they say a mirror adds ten pounds. Me: That's a cam- Wife: ... Me: Yes. Yes they do."

"I tried to make a robot that ate watches... but it was too time-consuming."

"You all hate smokers until you need to light a birthday cake..."

"You can learn a lot about a guy when you go through the pockets of his pants that are at his ankles in the bathroom stall next to your's."

"Boy: Calls 911 Boy: calls 911 Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"I told my therapist I don't wanna see her anymore. She said from what she's learned, that means I'll fuck her 3 more times."

"I WAS LIKE AND HE WAS LIKE AND I WAS LIKE AND SHE WAS LIKE (The speech impediment of the 21st century)"