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Joke of the Day

"I knew an amateur boxer with a coke habit. He kept his stash in his headgear because he thought it would soften the blow."

"I like my women like I like my vegetables... 5 a day."

"What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison? ""I'm stumped."""

"A friend showed me a funny steak pun the other day. I must say, steak puns are truly a rare medium well done."

"How do you make a space party? -You PLANet"

"What do oranges, and Jews have in common? They both hate concentration camps."

"How much for that babysitter? Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!"

"I walked into the bar and asked for something cold and full of rum. The bartender yelled to the back, ""Dear, there's someone here to see you."""

"How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner? She doesn't because she's dead."

"Ninety percent of being a dog is not realizing your own tail is your own tail."