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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why was the lobster arrested? A: Because he was always pinching things."
Next Joke
"What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog."
"*too embarrassed to buy condoms**buys 3D printer**makes gun**robs condom factory*"
"A man is standing on the top of a tall building about to commit suicide... ...when a physicist at the bottom shouts up, ""Don't do it! You have so much potential!"""
"A man gets home and sees his wife pleasuring herself with a cucumber ""What are you doing?"" he shouts, ""I have to eat that later, and I don't want it tasting like cucumber!"""
"What's a turtle's favorite type of shoe? Green clog. (looks almost like a turtle shell)"
"""You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Trump won the election? IS IT BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"" ""Mister President, we've been over this..."""
"The highest form of flattery... ...is a plateau"
"How do you stop guys like Donald Trump from saying racist things? You muzzle 'em."
"Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread."