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Joke of the Day

"Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today."

"My impression of a New Zealand duck: Quick... Quick. Quick."

"TIL the first commodity traded across the USA was jaweia. Lewis and Clark brought a sack of it with them on their expedition to the Pacific coast."

"You are? Follow instructions. Say - Eye Spell-map Say-ness"

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place."

"When the devil loses hair There will be hell toupee"

"Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months about it."

"LeBron James should have a gaming channel It would be called ""LeBron Games."""

"What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry? A Prontosaur."