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Joke of the Day

"""I want to drink but not have a good time. One Bud Light, please."""

"[1st date] Me: don't let him know you're a lobster Him: we should check out my hot-tub later Me: 'yeah...sure' *nervously clicks claws*"

"I'm not a big fan of chick flicks, but my girlfriend pressured me to pick a favourite. I went with Pounds per Square Inch Love You."

"So three Rabbi's walk into a bar... ...and the bartender says ""get the fuck out"""

"Stonewall Jackson was usually in charge of confederate forces during the Civil War. Well General Lee i mean."

"A reality show for little engines called ""So, You Think You Can?"""

"I made a meme"

"I'm getting a vanity plate that reads ""B Pitt"" because I like people to be disappointed when they look at me."

"Chess makes us to realize our life!!! Chess says everything about husband and wife. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever she wants."

"So, Bruce Jenner wants to become a women, eh? He's already got the driving part down. http://www.npr.org/2015/02/08/384663218/bruce-jenner-involved-in-fatal-car-crash"