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Joke of the Day

"Before i was born, i was given two choices 1. Have a large penis but suffer from memory loss. 2. Have a tiny penis but be very smart and remember everything. I do not remember which option i took."

"Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does."

"Whats long and black? the unemployed line."

"What do blind trains read? Raile!"

"What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you? M'laria."

"I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children."" I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex."

"If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again."

"Went to the doctor I told him everytime I have sex I cry. He explained it's from the mace."

"What's the difference between hitler and a gay man. A 45 degree angle."

"My dad is like the Michael Jordan of dads. He has a serious gambling problem."