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Joke of the Day
"My dad is like the Michael Jordan of dads. He has a serious gambling problem."
Next Joke
"How do NASA organize a party? They planet"
"Ice cream is clearly God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby."
"Ask someone if they'll watch your bag for you but never actually leave just sit there and watch your bag together with your new friend."
"Out of all the children's stories, Goldilocks is the most ridiculous. How's someone just gonna fall asleep while committing a felony? smh"
"I went to China and couldn't find a single Catholic church... I guess they must have heard about the ""One-child only"" policy"
"[Phone with Mom] ""Did you just friend request me?"" I'm on fb now ""I'm not adding you"" Fine do your own laundry then *accepts friend request*"
"If you don't like where you are in your life ~ Then move you are not a tree"
"*bees surround guy* AHHH GET THEM AWAY ""Don't make any sudden movements"" *suddenly the Macarena comes on* Oh no..."
"Definition of a spider, to someone who is afraid of spiders. Spiders are just furry eight-leggedy things, think of them as two kittens taped together and you'll be fine."